not a good day but small victories still

i'm extremely irritable and hungry today. And I mean HUNGRY! This morning wasn't too bad; I had a fried egg white, cup of applesauce, and a bowl of low sugar oatmeal with S&L. By 11:00 this morning though I was ready for lunch. No biggie. Heated up a Michelena Lean Gourmet (LG) Meatloaf and made a salad topped with 5 croutons, 1 tbsp FF Italian Dressing, and some vinegar. Tried to take my time eating it but it was gone before I knew it. 10 minutes later I was hungry again. So I popped a bag of 100 calorie FF popcorn with butter and sprinkled some powdered ranch stuff (the kind you use to make ranch dip that comes in a packet) on top. Once again, gone before I knew it.

I was tired so I got DD #1 to lie down in the living room with me so I could rest. After all, they say that fatigue is weight loss's enemy. I figured a nap couldn't hurt.

Well, when I got up (after about 30 minutes) my stomach was growling so much it actually hurt. Since I usually do shopping on Sundays, we're out of carrots, almost out of lettuce, and I couldn't even stomach the thought of another bag of popcorn. So I grabbed a handful of cheese crackers (the square ones, like Cheese Its) and finished the last 7 pretzel pizza combos I had left over from Monday. Then I ate 2 caramels.

I was angry with myself as soon as I finished the crackers and combos because I knew I didn't really want them, but at the same time I was somewhat proud because I could just as easily have grabbed the cheetos, brownies, or pringles sitting in the kitchen.

Husband and I are going out tonight, and I had planned to be very good, food-wise, today so I could afford to relax a bit tonight. Well, I suppose I will just resolve to behave the rest of the day. No more crackers and no more pouting. I think the cracker promise will be easier to keep today though :-)